Short jokes
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
No, it’s a 9/11 victim.
I like the satisfying sounds of your butt being spanked.
If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
I scored.
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
I am a volcano.
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
Your forehead is so big, even Galactus says, "Wow, that's big!"
What bees make milk?
Boob bees.
What do bees make milk from?
Boobees.
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.