Short jokes

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."

I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!

Are you a Pikachu?

Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!

Pokemon

You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.

Pokemon.

I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.

Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.

So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."

Guess what that is and it’s explosive. The end looks like <>

Hi, I'm Depraashin.

Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?

I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.

Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.

How do you spell "cognitive mess?"

J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.

What should people do with their floppy dicks?

I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!

Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.

Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.

Q: Why do women only use their lefts?

A: Because they don't have any rights.