Short jokes
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
I know you came here to feel good about yourself...
What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?
A killstreak.
You can’t land on Uranus XD
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
"Hold my beer, watch this."
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Bunger.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.