Short jokes

Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.

Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?

He hated the Poles.

"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"

Wanna see a joke? Open the front-facing camera.

When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

Every woman will die in five seconds.

Mother: Dies.

Sister: Dies.

Girlfriend: Lives.

You: 🤬

So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.

I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.

Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.

Yo forehead so large, it has its own gravitational pull.

Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?

To the mew-seum!

What's a ghost's favorite food?

I like some boo-ritos!

What fruit do scarecrows love the most?

Straw-berries.

Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!

How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!

Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?

Because they got little dicks and big mouths.

What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?

Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."

Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

What does a condom and a coffin have in common?

They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.