What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
Short Jokes
I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!
Little Johnny stooped down to lick my balls and deep dick my throbbing knob.
My forehead so big,
big like Biggie Smalls. I love cock, please bum my hole.
Hi.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
Why did Ronald McDonald go to KFC to destroy them?
