What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
Short Jokes
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.
I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?
I couldn't give a fuck about either.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Lalicks your balls.
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?
You're gay, stop reading.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
I was speaking to a deaf Asian man. I said, "Hi." He said, "Wha yiu sa?"
