Short jokes
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?
Slim Shady.
What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?
"I'm so crazy in love..."
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
Can I get a Hoyah?
I like dicks... sporting goods.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
Facial detection? More like racial detection.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.