Short jokes
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
Why don't you take emo skydiving?
They cut the rope.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
Do you know Joe?
Joe mama, mama, a, a, mama, a, a, amam.
Who's an orphan?
You are.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?
Tax credit.
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
Daddy, harder!
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.