Short jokes
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.
Explain Bear, girl, you're tripping.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What did Kobe say to the helicopter?
"Don't crash!"
Kobe: "Don't crash!"
Helicopter: *Crashes*
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.