Short jokes

Where do babies get baptized?

So the priest can wash their sex toys.

Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.

So I sold them.

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?

Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.

What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?

OJ couldn’t kill cancer.

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.

What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?

Fruit Loops.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.

What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?

Fruit Loops.

What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?

Ginger! You racist fuc-

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.

Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.

Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.

Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.