Short jokes

Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?

Shut up and keep sewing!

Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.

"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"

"Shut up and pass me the mop."

Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?

Shut up and pass me the note.

Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?

Shut up and comb your face.

Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?

Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!

Why was the apple 🍎 sad?

Because he got his peelings hurt.

What do you call a surprised Chinese man?

Ho Lee Fuk.

My roasts aren't funny. At least this shit gets me money.

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.

I think them homosexuals are rather gay.

What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."

We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...

I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.

What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?

A face full of sperm.

I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"

He started crying.

What is an orphan's favorite TV show?

"Alone."

What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?

One won't let you down, while the other will.

What is Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda organization's favorite song?

It's raining planes! Hallelujah!