Short jokes
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?
I don't know, you tell me.
Therapist: So what brought you here today?
Wife: He's too literal.
Therapist: And you, sir?
Husband: My truck.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?
"Aaah, a ghost!"