Short jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
What's Stephen Hawking's worst nightmare?
Stairs.
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.
What is an emo's favorite song?
"Suicidal."
Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?
Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
POV: It's a rapists' groupchat, not a joke section. And it's SAD.
Anyone have lightskin jokes?
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
lolo.
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
You smell dirty toenails and pigeon sex.
I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.