Nirvana jokes

Me: Cobain!

Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.

Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.

In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"

What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!

Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?

Because he's always calling shotgun.

Did you know Kurt had dandruff?

Found his head and shoulders behind the couch.

What does it take to paint a wall red?

Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.

What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?

What do you mean? He doesn't have one.

What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said?

"Pop Goes the Weasel."

What has four legs and works at McDonald's?

The remaining members of Nirvana.

An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.

What's the bad version of "Fuck Nirvana, rape me?"

During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.

I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.

Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”

My friend was the only one who laughed.

If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?

I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.

What's worse than depression & suicide?

Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.

Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Nah, he got nailed...