Short jokes
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
Why is the Pentagon mad?
Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.
Roses are red, The forest is bushy, OMG did you just cum in my pussy?
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
You know Imagine Dragons?
Imagine draggin' these balls.
Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?
The motherboard was nowhere to be found.
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.
I'm playing a game of HANGMAN. Is there an 'S' or a 'C'?
MIKE PEN__E??
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
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Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
9/11
This is so sad, can we hit 50 likes?!
They put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library.