New Shit Jokes - Page 7 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why do girls wear classic rock t shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique

High school crush: why do you always look so sad? Me: my mom is dead and my favorite grandma and my uncle killed both of them and now he's in jail. High school crush: shit. Sorry about that. Me: and my crush hasent asked me out. High school crush: who is it Me: you Him: goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back) Me: fuck that

Man goes to a doctor says he's having problems shitting so the doctor gives him so enama and says he needs to do it a few times at home but does the first one for him so the guy bends over the table lubs him up and shoves it deep in him and he yells. so later the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enama so he bends over she lubs him up puts a hand on his shouler and she shoves it up there and he starts screaming and cussing and the wife asks did I hurt u? He said no I just realized when the doctor did it he had both hands on my shoulders

When God had to take a shit from making a good wife. You pasted between his ass cheeks...

Me at the Oscars when i see Jada Pinkett Smith, me, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I Jada 2, can't wait to see it"

So will smith is laughing and then suddenly, Suddenly Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face

Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigcka Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers"

What is the whole pile of poops mean?

Whole pile of shits

Husband:can we try anal tonight Wife: fuck that shit Husband:that's the spirit

I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed anyone know cpr? I said shit I know all the letters of the alphabet. Everyone laughed well except for this 1 guy

What do you get when you cross a priest with toilet? Holy shit.

kid : hi janitor : wtf you want kid? kid : why are you rude? janitor : cuz i have a shitty job

I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit

Last night I had sex and she said stop talking about shit omg and I made her scream so loud she said her balls Hurt...

little jonny bad ass was sitting on a porch one day and a preacher was in the house little jonny bad ass had to use the bathroom so he bangs on the door saying mom i half to use the bathroomn his mom ses wait so little jonny bad ass sow a hat on the step he lookes around and pulls his pants down and shits in the hat well a few later the preacher comes out and ses i see u have my hat well little jonny bad ass ses ya i cout the wolds fasts berd the preacher ses well let me see him little jonny bad ass ses no i dont know well the preacher ses ill put my handes by the hat you lift and ill cach him well little jonny bad ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapt his handes and little jonny bad ass ses now see the bird don shit and ran.

yo i feel like shit when your around

your mom is so fat santa claus came done and said ho ho holy shit

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.