She jokes

Wife

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

Grandma

My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."

She died in a fire.

Memes

Morning

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

Student

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

Mama

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

Mama

Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.

Yo mama

Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!

Mama

Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.

Mama

Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.

Mama

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

Wife

My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.

What a weird way to start a conversation!

Bomb

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

Marriage

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

Mama

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."