She jokes

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.

Yo mama so tall, she was next to Neil Armstrong on the moon.

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.

What a weird way to start a conversation!

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."

She died in a fire.

Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.

Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?

She had a meltdown.

Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!

Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?

A: Make sure to come upstairs!

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.

So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.