She jokes

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.

Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of Africa leftovers.

What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?

Nothing, she was hung over.

Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.

Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.

Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?

A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.

Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.

Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit on the rainbow.

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia. So I ended up doing the YMCA.

Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.