Sexuality jokes

Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!

Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.

Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.

As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.

I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.

How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy's cock.

Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.

That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

Like if you are gay.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Your brother is gay, and so are you.

Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?

Why do you say that?

Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.

Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*

Me: Uh, male?..

Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*

Me: You silly goose.

*Silence for like three seconds*

Me: Still male though-

What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?

A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.

A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?

- A boner.

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.

Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."

What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?

Stiff chocolate.

I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.

Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.

Why can't male orphans be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."

What's big and black?

My balls.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

Was Jesus a virgin? Of course not! He was nailed before he was killed.

How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.