Sex

Sex jokes

Time

    • One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

    Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

    Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

    So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

    And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

    Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

    I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

  • 3

    • Beatles

    • Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"

  • 0
    • Sex memes

    Infidelity

    • Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

    Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

    I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

  • 1

    • Compliment

    • I'll give you an A because you're awesome.

    B because you're beautiful.

    A C because you're caring.

    And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.

    Woman

    • What’s the difference between women and condoms?

    There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.

  • 4

    • Incest

    • The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.

  • 0

    • Penis

    • Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.

  • 0

    • Mississippi

    • Two Italian men get on a bus.

    They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

    The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

    "Emma come first.

    Den I come.

    Den two asses come together.

    I come once-a-more.

    Two asses, they come together again.

    I come again and pee twice.

    Then I come one lasta time."

    "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

    "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

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