Sex jokes

What do you call that big, useless piece of skin attached to the outside of a vagina?

A woman.

I sucked a dick.

Suck my pp!

In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.

Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.

Penis and balls.

"Can we do 69?"

"How about 9/11 because we're going to crash tonight?"

I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿‍♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭

I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.

Oil and Ass.

Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 2.

Bubble Butt Bonanza 2.

Big Bubble-Butt Cheerleaders 2.

Big Wet Butts 5.

There Will Be Cum 9.

Mandingo Rocks That Ass.

Big Butts Like It Big 2.

Blowjob Ninjas 5.

Keep It Right There 2.

Big Wet Brazilian Asses! 6

Barney-1 2 3 what number comes next?

Barney-that’s right it’s penis!

Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.

Heh heh, get it? 69! Ha ahahaha!

Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

My penis.

I wrote a few jokes:

What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.

Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

Yahahlmsyw.

That stand for:

You are has a whole, let me show you why.

"Dick me down shorts."