A couple is on their first date. Man: How do you feel about sex? Woman: I like it infrequently. Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex? A microtransaction.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re then what does having sex for free make you? Non-profit wh*reganisation
I asked my Dad the other day.."At what age is it ok to have sex with girls?"He replied "When they leave school son, they are legal" Apparently 3.15pm is not what he meant.
So a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex, when he gets to the bar he brags about the different sex positions they used and one of the guys says "oh did you do head" and he responded with no I couldn't find the head
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
i like dick
Weather is like sex. Once In a while you need to get wet.
when you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family buisness
what kind of sex do priest love......nun
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
