Self jokes

My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.

SELF HARM

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

I used to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. But then I was born.

Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.

I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.

How did Jesus become self-sovereign?

He screws himself and becomes his own creator.

When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.

How to get rid of your depression:

1. Stop self-pitying.

2. Realize you can't.

3. Fucking deal with it.

You're welcome.

I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.

Tip for Kindness for the day.

Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.

Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

Have you ever heard of emo pizza?

It cuts itself!

What do you call an orphan fish?

Self-ish.

Not all self-harmers are emo, but all emos self-harm.

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?

How do emo bands prepare for their shows?

They self-harmonize.

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?

A pickle.

What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.