Self jokes

What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?

A family portrait.

Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"

Wanking.

Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?

American: Self defense.

Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?

What is a self-harm person's favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?

Because every time they scan, it scans twice.

Know the nuclear bombs of the world.

🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb

🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”

🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb

🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing

🇮🇱🧨 what bomb

🇮🇷🧨 just self defence

I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.

What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?

An edgelord.

You are the joke.

Why did people bully Steven Hawking?

Because he couldn't stand up for himself.

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.

My name says it all.

You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.

1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."

What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"

Hi, I'm stupid!

One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.

After a minute, a boy stands up.

The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.

The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."