Self jokes

Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!

You gotta believe me!

Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.

After a while, a student stands up.

Teacher: So you think you are stupid?

Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.

What is a self-harm person's favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂

Well, being an American is just a joke itself.

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?

It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

I wish my nails were emo so that they would cut themselves.

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?

The depressed person can scan themself.

Your hairline is more bent than your gender.

I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.

I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.

Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.

To anyone suffering from low self esteem:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UTymDoPOEnY

Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.

What do you say when an emo cuts themself?

"Like your cut, G."

Who am I?