Self jokes

Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!

You gotta believe me!

What is a self-harm person's favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂

Well, being an American is just a joke itself.

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?

The depressed person can scan themself.

Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?

It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

I wish my nails were emo so that they would cut themselves.

Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.

I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.

Your hairline is more bent than your gender.

I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.

I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.

Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.

My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.

SELF HARM

They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.

I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."