I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
When I see James Charles, my popcorn goes pop pop.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
Orange you glad to see me?
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
I always press the stop button to see you.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
The more they smile, the less they see.
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."
Kid: Dad, where do you work?
Dad: I.C.U.P.
Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
