Sea jokes
There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
Memes
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?
Because he was well armed!
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh!
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?
Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!
Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).
Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass flippers.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
"What did we hit?"
"I don't know, a rock."