Sea jokes
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
What happened to watersharky?
Tides right?
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
I ate Nemo.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting? Octopied.
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
What did the fish say to the beach?
"Long tide, no see!"
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to drop some DEEP SEA RHYMES.
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer!
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"