Sea jokes
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
Memes
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!
Why are pirates pirates?
Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!