Sea jokes
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
Fishermen are the best at networking.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
Which fish is the most famous?
The star fish!
Meme:
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
Have you seen the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
Sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth.
What sea creature can add up? A octoplus.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.
What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World?
To free Willie.
Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.
Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.
Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.