Science jokes

Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.

Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!

The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!

Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?

His shoulder.

What's the definition of total chaos?

A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.

Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch cold.

What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!

What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?

"To be and not to be."

What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”

3+3=****

Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?

They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.

Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.

The Earth was flat until they buried you.

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.