Science jokes
Henry jas Mercury in Uranus.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
You see, my son is very into astronomy.
Son: How do stars die?
Dad: Usually overdose, son.
I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day? F5
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?
Because they are always so distant. :-]
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)