Science jokes

What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?

Jurassic Bark!

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?

His shoulder.

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

What day does Venus like?

SATURNday.

A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."

Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!

Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

The Earth was flat until they buried you.

For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.

3+3=****

What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?

Pot wheels.

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.