Science jokes
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
False.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His shoulder.
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
3+3=****
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
The Earth was flat until they buried you.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.