Science jokes

You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)

How do planets have a baby?

They have spasex.

I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.

What day does Venus like?

SATURNday.

Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!

What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.

A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."

What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?

"To be and not to be."

What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”

What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!

Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?

They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?

Pot wheels.

Q: What did one atom say to the other?

A: I have my ion you.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because there was a power cut.

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.