Science jokes
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
Memes
Low quality
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
The Earth was flat until they buried you.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
3+3=****
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.