Science jokes
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
Memes
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
3+3=****
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.
The Earth was flat until they buried you.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.