Science jokes

I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.

What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?

Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.

3+3=****

Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?

They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.

The Earth was flat until they buried you.

Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.

Autobots, "Roll Out!"

Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!

What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”

What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?

Pot wheels.

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.

What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!