Science jokes
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
False.
I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.
The Earth was flat until they buried you.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”