Science jokes
NASA just found evidence of water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?
He mist.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type...
His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.