Science jokes
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
What does NASA stand for?
Nose and smelly astronauts.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
Think like a proton--stay positive!
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
Why did Greg go mad? Because Stephen stalked him.
I don't get mitosis.
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
Stephen Hawking lost Wi-Fi connection.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.