Science jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead; his update is just laggy because he is too far from the WiFi box.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
Memes
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??
Rollin' and Controllin'.
What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.
Tell me a joke about sodium.
Na.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His shoulder.
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.