What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead; his update is just laggy because he is too far from the WiFi box.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Tell me a joke about sodium.
Na.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??
Rollin' and Controllin'.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His shoulder.
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
