School jokes

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

I did a good job of being home from school.

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.

Why are school shooting jokes so funny?

Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!

My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I answered, "Happy."

The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.

I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.

Like this if you are in elementary, middle school, or high school.

I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.

I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.

Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

Kris is so dumb that his smartwatch went to NIGHT SCHOOL.

Teacher: I was an orphan when I was younger.

Student: Oof.

Teacher: Is anyone not here?

Student: Yes, your parents.

The quiet kid, orphan, and school shooter walked into a bar, and he ordered a beer.