School jokes

Quiet kid: "I'm home!"

Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"

Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"

A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."

I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.

Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.

School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

What's a school shooter's favorite flower?

Columbine.

Why did the girl 👧 bring lipstick 💄 to beauty school?

Because she had a make-up exam.

The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.

It left him hanging.

Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

Classroom: *visible panic*

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.

Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism