School jokes

Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.

The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.

Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?

They never get old.

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.

When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!

A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"

The woman replies, "No, why?"

The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

Elementary school kids: School is fun.

Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.

School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.

Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.

Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.

I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.

Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"

I love ❤️ going to school 🏫.

Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.