School jokes
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
I did a walk today and I had to walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and I had a good time with you and walk home from home and walk walk home and I had to.
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
I did a walk through and walk home from school, and I got home.
I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.