Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.
Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.
Why did the kid bring a later to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
Its girl I like in my school, but she always on her phone. Its seem that I can't get a SIGNAL from her
What do you call a school that can talk? A school 🏫 with a face
What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOF!"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents!"
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
