School

School jokes

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

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    • Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

    That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

    Name: Jack, call sign "triple".

    School: Nova corps gun academy.

    Location: Wyoming mountains.

    I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

    I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

    She said, "She was a little tardy."

    I asked her, "I thought they all were."

    Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

    So the teachers will call their parents.

    My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.

    "That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."

    Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

    Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.

    I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

    An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."

    "What is it?" she asked.

    "After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.

    "Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.

    "For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.

    "And your final wish?" the genie asked.

    "I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."

    Dogs say woof.

    Cows say moo.

    Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"

    I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...