School jokes
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
you.
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.