Say jokes
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
Why did the Pikachu say "Pi"??
He had to use the bathroom!
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?
"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."
Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!
lol
What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
What did the funny bone say to the skin?
"You're not humerus, I am!"
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
What is the difference between a man and a woman packing boxes?
The man says, "I have everything I need."
The woman says, "I love everything I have."
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."
What did the builder say after the foundation?
"Employees!"
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says, "DING!"
What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?
"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"
According to the Police report, what did one traffic signal say to the other?
"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light..."
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!