Say jokes
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Ugh, ugh, ugh!"
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
Whoever is deleting my messages, comment and say why!
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.
Memes
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
Say "urine egger" five times fast.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
What did the fish say when he got to the dam?
"Dam water."
"Dam!"
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.