Say jokes

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.

What did one mountain say to the other? Nice to peak you!

What did the girl say when she ran through the door?

Ouch.

What did the doc say to the skeleton? You're skele-a-ton.

What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?

"9 Juan Juan, who this?"

What do you do when you made a misteak?

You do some yoga 🧘‍♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."

What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?

Looks like I've only got myself to blame...

A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."

The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."

What did the skeleton say after dinner?

Bon appétit!

Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?

A: Beat it, we're closed.

What did the one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.

A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"

What did the baritone say to the alto?

Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.

Not so great way to find out you are adopted.

How do cows say "oof?"

They say, "MOOf."

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved!