Say jokes
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"
The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."
The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."
What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”
I always say I'm single, which annoys my wife.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
"Orange, orange, orange."
"Knock, knock."
"Orange."
"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night. The little boy says, "I'm scared." The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
What did the toaster say to the bread?
"I want you inside me!"
Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"
What time is it when you say "bad day?"
Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an oatmeal for a brain.
Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me, and Karlen.
Clarie: It was painful!
Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.
Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!
Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?
Clarie: Shush, Karlen is coming!
Karlen: Hey guys, that Ben guy for sure has a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We’re closed."
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"
Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."
The player says, "Oh, good for you!"
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.