Worst jokes
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
What's the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
Memes
I’m a professional 😉
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.