Say jokes

What did the beach say when the tide came in?

"Long time no sea."

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"

He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"

What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?

"Use the horse!"

A man with a mullet walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"

What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"

I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?

"I got stuck in a butt crack!"

What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.

Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:

"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"

My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.

Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?

Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.

I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"

The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."

Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀