Say jokes
What did Steven Hawking say?
Nothing.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
A man with a mullet walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
What did 0 say to 8?
"Hey, nice belt!"
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'?
- Wassaaaa....B!
What did the rock say to the flower?
Rocks can't talk. -.-
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."