New Say Jokes - Page 33 - Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

They say they'll stay, but I left first.

My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”

Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”

Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?

"Long time no see!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

How do you get away with rape and incest in California?

Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.

What do you say to the orphan?

"Shut up, get a mom and dad!"

You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.

Why did the GG Miller say to the loser?

"This is a nice reflection!"

Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."