Say jokes

Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”

What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?

"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"

What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."

What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."

What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?

"Sum ting wong."

What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?

I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

If you say "slay" in my comments I will follow all of you lmao who are signed in.

Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?

I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.

After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."

What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."

This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"

The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."

The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."

Do the voice in your head.