Say jokes
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
A guy finds a genie.
He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."
"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"