Say jokes
Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Heard the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?
"I'm so crazy in love..."
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
Your mum. That's all I need to say.
Mike Pence should have been eaten like Trump fans were saying!
What did COVID say to the American?
Nothing, it just took its breath away...
During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.
He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*