Say Jokes

You're so fat, when you say the n-word, boogers come out.

What did the Emo kid say to the other Emo kid?

Wait! Don’t leave me hangin’!

My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"

Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"

Who's the Roblox YouTuber that always sees Among Us and says "stupid"?

One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.

I don't need this shit!!

Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.

I don't need this shit!

So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."

I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'

I don't need this shit!

Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?

"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"

What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?

"I C D K"

You know what I see?

DICK

How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?

"No, you hang yourself first..."

Why do orphans like Darth Vader?

So he can say, "I'm your father!"

What did Eve say to Adam?

"That is rock hard."

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"

What did a Jedi say to Darth Vader? "You're not my father, I am yours!"

What did the star say? It's Star Trek.

Sonic says, "Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."