Say jokes

Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.

What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!

What did Al-Shehhi say to Atta?

Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

What did the dinosaur say to the man?

It didn’t, they're dead.

What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?

- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...

I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.

Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.

And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")

But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)

Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket

So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long

My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."

What did Al-Shehhi say to Mohamed Atta?

"We are on time!"

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"

Oh... wait.

What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?

I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...

A Roman guy walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Can I have 5 beers please?"

In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?

Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?