How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic
Why are santa's balls so big? because he comes (cums) once a year
Why don't chinaease people believe in santa claus there the ones that make the toyd
yo momma so fat santa said ho ho ho i've gatta go
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping of a roof
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have ***, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
why is Santa so jolly, because he knows where the naughty girls live
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookie and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple kool-aid.
What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?
Chlamydia.
Why dont chinese people believe in santa? Cause they mak the toys
Why do orphans hate Christmas? Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
you know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?" How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
why dont asian kids believe in santa clause?
because theyre the ones who made the toys
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
how do you get more presents from santa? you tickle his sack
Why can't orphans have a Christmas list because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her. Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the hunger games cuz she thought it was a eating competition. Yo mama is so ugly when santa claus saw her. He yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t" Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didnt let her leave Yo mama is so stupid she sold her car for gas money.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
