Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk? Because u had no dad because ur dad never loved u
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?
Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"
Brayden: "Hey!"
*Music roles around*
*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*
Brayden: "O_O"
Hailey: *Hides*
So sad </3 xD
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!
Papa: Johnny, Johnny.
Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Papa: Open wide.
Johnny: HAHAHA.
Papa: *unzips pants*
Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
Me. I am the joke.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple, the apple falls from the tree
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
