Sadness jokes

One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.

I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.

Orphan: "What family?"

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly."

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.

I told her to keep her chins up.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.

I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.

By the way, he was an orphan.

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.

It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.

He was a great vet.

I make phones for orphans. Sadly, it has no home button.

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

So sad that orphans can't watch Family Feud. 😔

Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD