Sad jokes

A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.

Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.

If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.

I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.

What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry.

Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

A. Because he got hit by a truck.

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.

It's sad someone has ligma.

I went on an orphan website. Sadly, there was no home page.

Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.

I made a website for orphans.

Sadly, it doesn't have a homepage.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

He doesn't know where home is.

How do you make a plumber sad?

You kill his family.

I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.

So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!